Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The Last Day of Preschool

Today was the boys last day of preschool. It is an exciting time, but I am also in tears every time I think of it. I love their teachers. They have been some of the people who have encouraged us the most through this journey. They have been on the front lines with us fighting for our boys. We have been shoulder to shoulder for the past 2 years. They have loved our boys through the kicks, screams, tantrums and diet changes. Today they are my unsung heroes.

Everyday they get up and go to a classroom full of preschoolers with special needs. It is hard enough (as most of us know) to deal with a normal preschooler. I can not imagine dealing with a room full of preschoolers and then add to that special needs. Wow!

Today I feel as if I have lost some very valuable companions on this journey. Each one of these teachers and aids have written on the slate of my children's lives. Because of that influence they have affected the lives of everyone the boys touch. I don't think that they will ever understand the eternal impact that they made.

I do not know who will step in and take their place. I know they can never be replaced, but the Lord has others who will step in and join us in this journey.

In all human affairs there are efforts, and there are results, and the strength of the effort is in the measure of the result. -- James Lane Allen

The develomental preschool staff at Fishback Creek Public Acadamy gave great effort in helping us with the boys recovery. The result of that effort will not be able to be measured for years to come. I think that when we finally reach the end of this journey we will be able to look back and see the different layers that were laid down. Theirs was the first.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Me, Myself and I

We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do. - Ethel Barrett

I have been pondering a few things over the past few days. There have been many blogs and posts in forums that I have read that have talked about how inferior some moms feel when they look around themselves at others. I think that this is one of the greatest things that keeps women from developing very close bonds with other women. We consistently compare ourselves to each other.

Most of the time when someone encourages me in the work that we are doing with the boys or they call me their hero, I am quick to dismiss it in my mind with a personal dialogue that says "ya, If you were in our home for more than a few hours and really got a good look at a real day you would not think this."

I yell at my kids, am not as diligent as I should be about things that need to be done, should play with the kids more than I do and so the list could go on and on and on.
I do compare myself with other moms. Moms that I think have it all together. I also know that if these moms knew this they would laugh, because they to compare themselves with other moms and feel the same as I do.

We as moms do the best that we can on any given day. We make sacrifices that only other moms can understand. So today I am making a new resolution. Instead of comparing myself to these moms, I am going to enjoy their strengths and thank the Lord that we are all different and can compliment each other so well. We can learn from each other and encourage each other instead of beating ourselves up over not being all that we think we should be.

Here is a list of many of the moms that I hang with and what I appreciate about them. (even if they feel themselves less than super I think the are all wonderful)

Amy Koons: She is one of the best writers I know. I love to read her blog, because I know it will be a good read and I will feel uplifted when I am done. I think she could write about an earth worm and I would think it was great.

Alaina Fulk: I love to hear about her menus and the entertaining that she is doing. She is one of the most hospitable people I know.

Monica Bird: One of the dearest friends I have. She is raising 7 children and homeschooling and yet she still has time to listen and encourage me. She has a mind that wants to learn and she has not neglected it just because she is a mom. She can also feed her brood on an amazing budget.

Heather LeFebvre: One of the most creative people I know. She is constantly sewing cool things and creating really cool food in the kitchen. She has persevered through a very trying illness and has developed a true compassion for those in the same circumstances.

Ginny Enas: Is raising 10 children ages 19 - 2. I am amazed at her wisdom and continually seek her advice in the raising of my kids. She has shown me that I can still be me in the midst of marriage and motherhood.

Catherine Gillespie: Reads more books than I knew existed. She reads to her kids on a daily basis. She is learning how to do things on a tight budget and I am gleaning so much from her thoughts on that.

Rachelle Swan: She loves her stepchildren as though they were her own. I have not seen many women care about children they way she cares about her 2 oldest. She is in the midst of trials and she is facing them with determination and fighting for her kids.

Each of these women are truly super moms. They are unique and wonderful in so many ways. What is posted above is just a hint of who they are.
I guess what I am trying to say in this post is that so much of our energy is wasted on comparing ourselves to others instead of enjoying those differences.

So I am going to step out of my box and in spite of my really bad stained carpet have a party for Edy for her birthday. I know that I think so much worse of it than others do. I am not going to let stained carpet or shabby furniture stand in the way of entertaining those I hold dear or doing something for someone else because I don't know if they will like it. I have held back too much in the past few years because I did not want to be judged on the actions of my children or the condition of my house. I am determined to accept things as they are and move on.

So when you read this post if you feel inclined to leave a comment, I want to know what your favorite thing about yourself is. Is is time for us moms to start dwelling on the good that we have and quit getting down on ourselves for those things that we wish we were.

Edit: Darrin got on me for not posting my favorite thing about me: I am glad that I am so flexible. I like to be spontaneous. I think the most fun to be had is just doing something without forethought. (this has gotten me into trouble, but I have always had a good time.)

I think you are all wonderful and no one else could fill your place on earth!

Friday, June 6, 2008

It's a.........

Today we had our ultrasound for this little one. I have had many concerns about this baby because I am over 35. Today put all of those concerns to rest. The baby is perfectly healthy. It is about 10 oz now and is measuring right where it should be. All of it parts are in the places they should be, no extra parts and no parts missing.

In fact it has one little extra part that many of us don't have. It is a BOY!!! We are quite positive of this. He is a typical boy and was strutting his stuff.

Now for the hard part. We need a boy's name. We have the middle name. It is Louis after Darrin's papa that passed away this year.

I am very open for suggestions. Our guidelines.
The name has to be 2 syllables.
It can not start with A, D, E, J, S or T. (we already have those initials.)
It needs to end in an "or" or "er" so that it ends the same as Spencer and Taylor.

Let me have them. I will present them to Darrin and when we decide on a name I will let you all know.

Today has been a good day and I am thanking the Lord for a healthy child.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Some friends were getting on me last night because I have not updated my blog in a month.
Our whole family minus Darrin has been sick this past month. The last 2 weeks have been the worst with it ending this past weekend knee deep (not literally) in puke! For some reason I have not felt motivated to sit and update. :)

We have had some great times this month. As I get around the fact that I am exhausted all the time, I am trying to get out and do some things with the kids. A few weeks ago I took them bowling. My mom was sweet enough to go with me and help. I have to say it was not a total disaster. We did not get through even one game, but the kids have been asking to go again so it was worth the effort. We can bowl for free with only having to pay for shoe rental. For those interested go to kidsbowlfree.com

A few weekends later we went camping for Memorial Day weekend. It was the best camping trip we have ever had. As much of a pain as it was to take the kids when they were younger, I am starting to see the fruits of our labor. They are wanting to help set up and take down the camper. I figure that they should be able to set up the whole thing properly by the time they are 7, 8 and 9. I think I will give the baby a break and not make him/her help until he/she is about 2. :)

I have pictures of both, but they are on different cameras. As soon as I can get a hold of my mom and Amy's camera I will post pictures.

Taylor had his 3 month check with Dr. Hulesman last Thursday. His ATEC jumped from 48 to 36. We are making progress. It has been hard to get a handle on all of the things he is supposed to be taking, but I finally feel as if I am on the verge of getting on top of it. In the next few weeks we will be starting chelation. This is a big step. It is our next to last step if not the last. If it works we will be done and just continue what we are doing for the next year or so. If we don't get the total result that we want we will do some Hyperbaric Chamber treatments with him. We will cross that bridge when we get to it.

All in all it has become a lot more normal around here than I ever dreamed. Taylor has turned a corner. I am not sure what caused it, but am very thankful for it. Addi has quit the spontanious screaming and we are working on the whining. I am hopeful that by the time this baby arrives that most of everything will be cleared up.

I am aslo very thankful that we have had such a quick recovery rate. There are many families that do not start chelation for years. The Lord has been gracious and we are flying through the steps. You could not have convinced me a year ago that we would be where we are today. I read countless stories of other families and my heart aches for them. Our road has been simple and easy compared to what they have had to deal with.

It takes time to succeed because success is merely the natural reward of taking time to do anything well -- Joseph Ross