These past few weeks have been very hard. I was to the point that I just wanted to give up on the kids diet. I am not seeing many changes or progress and it just does not seem worth it.
Addi is growing and I can not get enough food down her to keep her satisfied. I feel for her. I just want to pitch it all and go back to the GFCF diet. It was sooooo much easier!
I had to go to the store this morning because we were out of our staples. I was determined to get something for Addi that she would like. I was going to get salami. I did not care what was in it. She needed some variety. I picked up the "best" out of the lot and proceeded to the bacon section. As I was on my way I passed the new Hormel Naturals. Guess what...they have an uncured salami!
So today in the grocery, once again, God took my hand and showed me that he is going before me to provide for these children. I was at the end of my rope and he pulled me back up.
Salami is such a small thing, but today it made my day. (and Addi's. She loved it. Ate most of the package.)
Monday, May 5, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
Spring and New Beginnings
Our Lord has written the promise of resurrection, not in books alone, but in every leaf in springtime. - Martin Luther
Spring is just about to come full force to us here in Indy. It has been teasing us for the past few weeks, but I think it is about to stay. Spring is my favorite season. It is full of renewed life, fresh smells and sunshine. It has been my favorite since childhood. I remember when I was in school as a child, walking out of the school building and taking a deep breath of spring air. Nothing else smelled like it. For me spring means new beginnings.
We have reintroduced eggs into the kids diet. Eggs are marvelous things. I can now make great muffins, pizza crust, cookies and a multitude of other baked goods. I am sure that the kids will enjoy eating them as much as I enjoy making them. I have also introduced more dairy. Cheese is also a marvelous thing. It helps keep crackers together and gives a quick no-thought snack.
When we started this diet 3 months ago it seemed an eternity before we could reintroduce these things, but as spring came so did the wonderful change in diet. It is so much easier now.
We started Taylor on a med called Risperdol last week. I don't know what changes I am supposed to be looking for. It is supposed to increase his appetite as a side effect. This has happened. He asked for chicken nuggets on Sunday night. I was more than willing to do this for him. He ate them for dinner and for lunch the next day.
In addition to taking his vitamins I was able to sneak Zinc, TMG, Folinic Acid, Vitamin C, Cortrex, MSM and Magnesium into their muffins. They ate them! I don't know what the heat did to these supplements, but some is better than none.
Again, I love spring and can not wait for the time that the kids can go outside and play on a consistent basis. They are always much happier after they get a good dose of Vitamin D and so is mommy!
Spring is just about to come full force to us here in Indy. It has been teasing us for the past few weeks, but I think it is about to stay. Spring is my favorite season. It is full of renewed life, fresh smells and sunshine. It has been my favorite since childhood. I remember when I was in school as a child, walking out of the school building and taking a deep breath of spring air. Nothing else smelled like it. For me spring means new beginnings.
We have reintroduced eggs into the kids diet. Eggs are marvelous things. I can now make great muffins, pizza crust, cookies and a multitude of other baked goods. I am sure that the kids will enjoy eating them as much as I enjoy making them. I have also introduced more dairy. Cheese is also a marvelous thing. It helps keep crackers together and gives a quick no-thought snack.
When we started this diet 3 months ago it seemed an eternity before we could reintroduce these things, but as spring came so did the wonderful change in diet. It is so much easier now.
We started Taylor on a med called Risperdol last week. I don't know what changes I am supposed to be looking for. It is supposed to increase his appetite as a side effect. This has happened. He asked for chicken nuggets on Sunday night. I was more than willing to do this for him. He ate them for dinner and for lunch the next day.
In addition to taking his vitamins I was able to sneak Zinc, TMG, Folinic Acid, Vitamin C, Cortrex, MSM and Magnesium into their muffins. They ate them! I don't know what the heat did to these supplements, but some is better than none.
Again, I love spring and can not wait for the time that the kids can go outside and play on a consistent basis. They are always much happier after they get a good dose of Vitamin D and so is mommy!
Friday, April 4, 2008
Victory Dance!
For one mother, joy is the quiet pleasure found in gently rubbing shampoo into her young child's hair. For another woman it's taking a long walk alone, while for yet another it's reveling in a much-anticipated vacation.
-Eileen Stukane
Today Taylor took his vitamins!!!! I am so excited. I gave him the little "berries" and walked away. I tried to peak around the fridge to see if he had eaten them, but he had his back to me. Later he asked for some more. I gave them to him and saw him chew them up!! This is almost as much cause for celebration as Spencer's potty training.
These past weeks have been my most tired throughout the boys treatment. I just want to chuck everything and go to sleep. Isn't that the way God works. When we are at our lowest He is able to do what needs to be done. Things needed to be done and He got them done. I can humbly say that it was not me by any means. He has shown me that this journey is not on my shoulders, but on His. He will bring us to the end with the result that He has set from the beginning of time.
Vitamins are such little things. You can fit many of them in your hand and yet there are many valleys between the ridges of those little things. Today God took Taylor to the vitamin mountain and helped him conquer it. He did not even need the help of his mama.
-Eileen Stukane
Today Taylor took his vitamins!!!! I am so excited. I gave him the little "berries" and walked away. I tried to peak around the fridge to see if he had eaten them, but he had his back to me. Later he asked for some more. I gave them to him and saw him chew them up!! This is almost as much cause for celebration as Spencer's potty training.
These past weeks have been my most tired throughout the boys treatment. I just want to chuck everything and go to sleep. Isn't that the way God works. When we are at our lowest He is able to do what needs to be done. Things needed to be done and He got them done. I can humbly say that it was not me by any means. He has shown me that this journey is not on my shoulders, but on His. He will bring us to the end with the result that He has set from the beginning of time.
Vitamins are such little things. You can fit many of them in your hand and yet there are many valleys between the ridges of those little things. Today God took Taylor to the vitamin mountain and helped him conquer it. He did not even need the help of his mama.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Doctors Appointments and The Changing of a Dream
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.
-Helen Keller
Addi and Spencer had their 3 month check with Dr. Hulsman yesterday. Spencer had an ATEC in the 40s during our last visit. This visit it was 24. His "social score" was a 1 and Dr. Hulsman told me that he was almost off of the spectrum. Music to my ears. He will be starting chelation this next week. We are going to go nice and slow. It may take us awhile, but this will help his communication and brain fog.
Addi's ATEC was in the 60s when we started and she was 44 yesterday. We are still having problems with her screaming. We are trying some adrenal support. I think this has already helped her. We had not started her supplements for this, but she found the bottle and emptied it on the floor upstairs. Most of the capsules were opened. If that is all it takes to get them to take their supplements then I should just give them a spoon and let them play with all of them. The screaming is down today and she slept in her own bed all night last night.
We also got a new vitamin supplement. Everyone but Taylor likes the new vitamin. I am learning that he does not like the orange flavor. It is berry all the way for him. I am looking for a gummy vitamin for him that does not contain corn syrup, so if there are any suggestions please let me know.
Over all we were very pleased with the visit. She also gave us a prescription for a drug for Taylor. We are hoping that it will give him a sense of calmness making it easier for us to get the supplements down him. We will see what happens.
-------
I have always had a heart for missionaries. I would have gone in an instant if I had been called, but I wasn't. Since I was not called I wanted to have a home that could house missionaries when they were home on leave. This grew into a dream to have a place that they could bring their families for a time of R&R. God has taken my vision and tweaked it a bit. I still want to have a place where people can come for R&R, but God has changed my focus group.
Because of the boys and their Autism, God has put a very special place in my heart for the parents of special needs children. I do not necessarily have a heart for the children themselves. I do love them, but my concern is for their parents. The divorce rate for families with special needs children is higher than the national average. The stresses and heartache that these parents experience are much more than the stresses of normal life.
Yesterday on Dr. Phil there was a couple whose son was born without the division between the frontal lobes in his brain. Most of the time these children die in the womb or shortly after birth. The fact that this child has lived this long is a miracle. They love day by day not knowing how much longer their son will be with them. The dad has turned to alcohol for escape. The mom takes out the brunt of her frustration on the dad which drives him to drink even more. It is a vicious cycle.
What I saw was a couple who was hurting and needed a break. They needed time to reconnect and time to take a break together. They needed encouragement that their feelings are natural and all parents have them. (even those without special needs kids). They needed a place to vent and they needed a place to have someone wrap them in the love of Christ. They needed to know that no matter what happened that there would be people out there that still loved them and would be there when they felt like they could not go on.
This is the kind of place that I want to have. I want to pamper the moms and give the dads time to pursue some of the things that they have had to put on hold. I want to give them a time where they can get some help for their relationship. I want them to be able to go out on a date together. I want to provide some respite care for the children by people who are trained in handling their particular situation so that the parents can relax and know that their children are well cared for.
I think that this is the greatest thing that we can do for these children. It will give them peace in the home and take the stresses off of them. Stress is one of the worst thing for special needs children so if we can help their parents we can help them.
It is only in "dream" stage right now. I don't know how God is going to bring it about, but it will be exciting to be part of it.
-Helen Keller
Addi and Spencer had their 3 month check with Dr. Hulsman yesterday. Spencer had an ATEC in the 40s during our last visit. This visit it was 24. His "social score" was a 1 and Dr. Hulsman told me that he was almost off of the spectrum. Music to my ears. He will be starting chelation this next week. We are going to go nice and slow. It may take us awhile, but this will help his communication and brain fog.
Addi's ATEC was in the 60s when we started and she was 44 yesterday. We are still having problems with her screaming. We are trying some adrenal support. I think this has already helped her. We had not started her supplements for this, but she found the bottle and emptied it on the floor upstairs. Most of the capsules were opened. If that is all it takes to get them to take their supplements then I should just give them a spoon and let them play with all of them. The screaming is down today and she slept in her own bed all night last night.
We also got a new vitamin supplement. Everyone but Taylor likes the new vitamin. I am learning that he does not like the orange flavor. It is berry all the way for him. I am looking for a gummy vitamin for him that does not contain corn syrup, so if there are any suggestions please let me know.
Over all we were very pleased with the visit. She also gave us a prescription for a drug for Taylor. We are hoping that it will give him a sense of calmness making it easier for us to get the supplements down him. We will see what happens.
-------
I have always had a heart for missionaries. I would have gone in an instant if I had been called, but I wasn't. Since I was not called I wanted to have a home that could house missionaries when they were home on leave. This grew into a dream to have a place that they could bring their families for a time of R&R. God has taken my vision and tweaked it a bit. I still want to have a place where people can come for R&R, but God has changed my focus group.
Because of the boys and their Autism, God has put a very special place in my heart for the parents of special needs children. I do not necessarily have a heart for the children themselves. I do love them, but my concern is for their parents. The divorce rate for families with special needs children is higher than the national average. The stresses and heartache that these parents experience are much more than the stresses of normal life.
Yesterday on Dr. Phil there was a couple whose son was born without the division between the frontal lobes in his brain. Most of the time these children die in the womb or shortly after birth. The fact that this child has lived this long is a miracle. They love day by day not knowing how much longer their son will be with them. The dad has turned to alcohol for escape. The mom takes out the brunt of her frustration on the dad which drives him to drink even more. It is a vicious cycle.
What I saw was a couple who was hurting and needed a break. They needed time to reconnect and time to take a break together. They needed encouragement that their feelings are natural and all parents have them. (even those without special needs kids). They needed a place to vent and they needed a place to have someone wrap them in the love of Christ. They needed to know that no matter what happened that there would be people out there that still loved them and would be there when they felt like they could not go on.
This is the kind of place that I want to have. I want to pamper the moms and give the dads time to pursue some of the things that they have had to put on hold. I want to give them a time where they can get some help for their relationship. I want them to be able to go out on a date together. I want to provide some respite care for the children by people who are trained in handling their particular situation so that the parents can relax and know that their children are well cared for.
I think that this is the greatest thing that we can do for these children. It will give them peace in the home and take the stresses off of them. Stress is one of the worst thing for special needs children so if we can help their parents we can help them.
It is only in "dream" stage right now. I don't know how God is going to bring it about, but it will be exciting to be part of it.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Potty Training and a "Normal" Day
This week what once I thought was an impossible task was accomplished. Spencer is potty trained! Many of you might feel that he should have been potty trained years ago. Spencer had trouble knowing when he had to go potty. He had chronic constipation. The SC diet has cleared up all of that.
We started on Monday. He did really well. Tuesday was a bit rough, but he recovered well and Wednesday and Thursday were red letter days for him. Today I took him out in underwear and he did great! One down one to go! I should be diaper free for a few months before the new baby arrives.
--------------------
Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.
-Mary Jean Iron
This morning my sister Cindy called and wanted to take Edy and Spencer to "Horton Hears a Who." I thought this would be a great idea so I proceeded to get them ready. Well, Taylor has been much more alert about what is going on around him and he realized that Spencer was going to be leaving. He proceeded to go and get dressed himself. What am I going to do with that. He was so excited. So...we all went to see "Horton Hears a Who." Taylor did really great for about 40 minutes and then he was done, so I left the other 3 with Aunt Cindy to finish the movie and Taylor and I went and did some errands. He did great. We met back up when the movie was over.
We then attempted something very brave. We took all of the kids out to Cracker Barrel for lunch. We were able to order them food that was on their diet. They all ate very well and were very well behaved.
We felt that Taylor had some regression this week, but he seems to come out ahead. Sometimes he takes one step back and then all of a sudden he is farther along than he was before. I just don't understand.
I have been very exhausted this week and this day really helped. You know you can be exhausted and have an enjoyable time and you can almost forget that the exhaustion is there. The Lord has blessed us this week above all I could hope for. Spencer is potty trained, Taylor is progressing and we were able to have a kids outing with good behavior and I have not yet thrown up due to my morning sickness! God is good!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
It Has Been Awhile
It has been over 2 weeks since I posted. Life has been fast and furious since we returned from Arkansas. Within those 2 weeks the kids finished their 2nd session of school and are now home for a few weeks, I was told that Spencer will be in general Kindergarten next year, and I have had my first prenatal check up.
I did not understand how Spencer could be ready for Kindergarten when his comprehension skills are not up to par. They told me he would be board with anything else. I did not understand what they meant until yesterday. I was doing some school exercises with Edy and Spencer wanted to "draw" too. We gave him a paper and I asked him to draw an A. He did it. We went through the whole alphabet and he wrote every letter. He even did some lower case letters. I also learned that his comprehension skills are not as behind as I thought. When we were done with the letters he turned his paper over and proceeded to write YOU. He then pointed to the word and said "you". Wanting to set a positive air to the session I suggested that he write the word WIN next. I told him the letters and he wrote them. I then said "you win". He said "NO" in the way that says mom you are not so smart and then proceeded to write the letters L O S and E. He then very emphatically said "YOU LOSE!" Thank you Monkey Ball!
Taylor is also learning to spell, which amazes me. He likes the words ready, go, and goal. He also has learned how to spell his name. I know that there is much in his brain that is just itching to escape. One day I will sit in amazement that we made it through this part of the journey.
Darrin cracks me up. He brought me home a book to help me with my blog. It is "The Book of Positive Quotations" 2nd Edition. It really is a cool book and I want to start putting these quotes in my posts. The one that I feel is very appropriate for my situation this week is this:
"The one law that does not change is that everything changes, and the hardship I was bearing today was only a breath away from the pleasures I would have tomorrow, and those pleasures would be all the richer because of the memories of this I was enduring." - Louis L'Amour
I love watching little brains at work. When the boys were little I would love to watch them figure things out. I lost this for a time and now those little brains are working again. I get great pleasure watching them learn, knowing how hard it has been for them to get to this point. There were times in the past years that I felt that these days would never come. I would be living in this cycle forever. The cycle is ending. The kids and I have been having a very nice time together this break. We do have our little incidents, but they are nothing like the past. We played cards yesterday, colored and played together. We are verging on "normal" (not that I want to get too close to that). The pleasures of these times are all the richer because of the hardship that we have been through together.
Right now Edy is sitting in the big chair with Taylor. They are looking at pictures of Disneyland. Edy is asking "who's that" and Taylor is answering her and even giving descriptions of the pictures sometimes. He is getting most of them correct. How much has changed in the past year. I am looking forward to the rich pleasures of tomorrow.
I did not understand how Spencer could be ready for Kindergarten when his comprehension skills are not up to par. They told me he would be board with anything else. I did not understand what they meant until yesterday. I was doing some school exercises with Edy and Spencer wanted to "draw" too. We gave him a paper and I asked him to draw an A. He did it. We went through the whole alphabet and he wrote every letter. He even did some lower case letters. I also learned that his comprehension skills are not as behind as I thought. When we were done with the letters he turned his paper over and proceeded to write YOU. He then pointed to the word and said "you". Wanting to set a positive air to the session I suggested that he write the word WIN next. I told him the letters and he wrote them. I then said "you win". He said "NO" in the way that says mom you are not so smart and then proceeded to write the letters L O S and E. He then very emphatically said "YOU LOSE!" Thank you Monkey Ball!
Taylor is also learning to spell, which amazes me. He likes the words ready, go, and goal. He also has learned how to spell his name. I know that there is much in his brain that is just itching to escape. One day I will sit in amazement that we made it through this part of the journey.
Darrin cracks me up. He brought me home a book to help me with my blog. It is "The Book of Positive Quotations" 2nd Edition. It really is a cool book and I want to start putting these quotes in my posts. The one that I feel is very appropriate for my situation this week is this:
"The one law that does not change is that everything changes, and the hardship I was bearing today was only a breath away from the pleasures I would have tomorrow, and those pleasures would be all the richer because of the memories of this I was enduring." - Louis L'Amour
I love watching little brains at work. When the boys were little I would love to watch them figure things out. I lost this for a time and now those little brains are working again. I get great pleasure watching them learn, knowing how hard it has been for them to get to this point. There were times in the past years that I felt that these days would never come. I would be living in this cycle forever. The cycle is ending. The kids and I have been having a very nice time together this break. We do have our little incidents, but they are nothing like the past. We played cards yesterday, colored and played together. We are verging on "normal" (not that I want to get too close to that). The pleasures of these times are all the richer because of the hardship that we have been through together.
Right now Edy is sitting in the big chair with Taylor. They are looking at pictures of Disneyland. Edy is asking "who's that" and Taylor is answering her and even giving descriptions of the pictures sometimes. He is getting most of them correct. How much has changed in the past year. I am looking forward to the rich pleasures of tomorrow.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
God's Perfect Timing
Many times I question the timing of things. I know that God is orchestrating our lives and we want our family to be used to its greatest potential. Many times I do not see how things that transpire are in God's timing until it is revealed at a later date.
As many of you know, Darrin and I had our kids very quickly. 4 children in 2.5 years. After Addi was born we called it quits. 2boys and 2 girls seemed like a good number and mix. Also, Addi's labor and delivery was very hard and I did not ever want to go through that again.
Edy has also been learning about God's timing in answering prayer. She has been praying for a baby for about a year now. She asked me a bit ago why God did not answer her prayer. I used the moment to explain to her that God sometimes says no and we need to be OK with that.
We arrived at Grandma's house about 5:30 on Saturday evening. The atmosphere was one of grief and depression. I found Grandma and gave her a long hug and then told her I had a card for her. She read the card and then looked at me. Her face turned from one of grief to one of joy. She then started showing the card to everyone. She would say so and so come here, read this. It will be her reason to continue through the very hard first few months without Papa.
The card read like this:
cover: A New Baby
Inside: How Wonderful!
I wrote inside:
Dear Grandma,
I will be arriving sometime between October 31st and November 12th. Please come and visit me.
It was signed: Baby T
I have 2 boys with Autism and a little girl with learning disabilities. How I am supposed to get through this pregnancy, I don't know.
What I do know:
God has never given me enough to send me to the insane asylum. (I have come close)
God has taught Edy a very special lesson about answered prayer.
This child has already given someone in the midst of grief, hope for the future.
I did question the timing of this pregnancy. I have fears of miscarriage, birth defects, one more with autism, labor and delivery and postpartum depression . We are starting over. I am almost done with diapers and life was just about to get a bit easier when all of the kids were in school this next fall.
Even with this I have to acknowledge that God's timing is perfect.
The kids will all be in school in the morning just as I am starting my 3rd trimester. Can you say morning nap?
We were able to plan our Grandma's first holidays without Papa. Thanksgiving with us and Christmas with her daughter in CA.
Darrin started a really great job in January and will be going full time in May. We will hopefully have maternity insurance.
The boys are ready for chelation. They should be greatly improved by November. (I already see changes in Taylor. It is amazing what a few days away will reveal)
He gave Darrin and I time alone together to get used to the idea. I would have had a much harder time accepting this pregnancy in the midst of screaming children. :)
Once again God is teaching me that along the way there will be things and situations that I view as bumps in the road. Looking back from this side I can see that those "bumps" are an intricate part of God's plan for our family. Without them we would not be who we are.
It is the same with this. God is changing the dynamics of our family once again. It will be interesting to see what I think about this "bump" when I am on the other side.
BTW: Alaina, do you still have the crib? :)
As many of you know, Darrin and I had our kids very quickly. 4 children in 2.5 years. After Addi was born we called it quits. 2boys and 2 girls seemed like a good number and mix. Also, Addi's labor and delivery was very hard and I did not ever want to go through that again.
Edy has also been learning about God's timing in answering prayer. She has been praying for a baby for about a year now. She asked me a bit ago why God did not answer her prayer. I used the moment to explain to her that God sometimes says no and we need to be OK with that.
We arrived at Grandma's house about 5:30 on Saturday evening. The atmosphere was one of grief and depression. I found Grandma and gave her a long hug and then told her I had a card for her. She read the card and then looked at me. Her face turned from one of grief to one of joy. She then started showing the card to everyone. She would say so and so come here, read this. It will be her reason to continue through the very hard first few months without Papa.
The card read like this:
cover: A New Baby
Inside: How Wonderful!
I wrote inside:
Dear Grandma,
I will be arriving sometime between October 31st and November 12th. Please come and visit me.
It was signed: Baby T
I have 2 boys with Autism and a little girl with learning disabilities. How I am supposed to get through this pregnancy, I don't know.
What I do know:
God has never given me enough to send me to the insane asylum. (I have come close)
God has taught Edy a very special lesson about answered prayer.
This child has already given someone in the midst of grief, hope for the future.
I did question the timing of this pregnancy. I have fears of miscarriage, birth defects, one more with autism, labor and delivery and postpartum depression . We are starting over. I am almost done with diapers and life was just about to get a bit easier when all of the kids were in school this next fall.
Even with this I have to acknowledge that God's timing is perfect.
The kids will all be in school in the morning just as I am starting my 3rd trimester. Can you say morning nap?
We were able to plan our Grandma's first holidays without Papa. Thanksgiving with us and Christmas with her daughter in CA.
Darrin started a really great job in January and will be going full time in May. We will hopefully have maternity insurance.
The boys are ready for chelation. They should be greatly improved by November. (I already see changes in Taylor. It is amazing what a few days away will reveal)
He gave Darrin and I time alone together to get used to the idea. I would have had a much harder time accepting this pregnancy in the midst of screaming children. :)
Once again God is teaching me that along the way there will be things and situations that I view as bumps in the road. Looking back from this side I can see that those "bumps" are an intricate part of God's plan for our family. Without them we would not be who we are.
It is the same with this. God is changing the dynamics of our family once again. It will be interesting to see what I think about this "bump" when I am on the other side.
BTW: Alaina, do you still have the crib? :)
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