Potty Training and a "Normal" Day

This week what once I thought was an impossible task was accomplished. Spencer is potty trained! Many of you might feel that he should have been potty trained years ago. Spencer had trouble knowing when he had to go potty. He had chronic constipation. The SC diet has cleared up all of that.

We started on Monday. He did really well. Tuesday was a bit rough, but he recovered well and Wednesday and Thursday were red letter days for him. Today I took him out in underwear and he did great! One down one to go! I should be diaper free for a few months before the new baby arrives.

--------------------

Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.

-Mary Jean Iron

This morning my sister Cindy called and wanted to take Edy and Spencer to "Horton Hears a Who." I thought this would be a great idea so I proceeded to get them ready. Well, Taylor has been much more alert about what is going on around him and he realized that Spencer was going to be leaving. He proceeded to go and get dressed himself. What am I going to do with that. He was so excited. So...we all went to see "Horton Hears a Who." Taylor did really great for about 40 minutes and then he was done, so I left the other 3 with Aunt Cindy to finish the movie and Taylor and I went and did some errands. He did great. We met back up when the movie was over.

We then attempted something very brave. We took all of the kids out to Cracker Barrel for lunch. We were able to order them food that was on their diet. They all ate very well and were very well behaved.

It was as close to a "normal" day and "normal" behavior that we have had in a very long time.

We felt that Taylor had some regression this week, but he seems to come out ahead. Sometimes he takes one step back and then all of a sudden he is farther along than he was before. I just don't understand.

I have been very exhausted this week and this day really helped. You know you can be exhausted and have an enjoyable time and you can almost forget that the exhaustion is there. The Lord has blessed us this week above all I could hope for. Spencer is potty trained, Taylor is progressing and we were able to have a kids outing with good behavior and I have not yet thrown up due to my morning sickness! God is good!

It Has Been Awhile

It has been over 2 weeks since I posted. Life has been fast and furious since we returned from Arkansas. Within those 2 weeks the kids finished their 2nd session of school and are now home for a few weeks, I was told that Spencer will be in general Kindergarten next year, and I have had my first prenatal check up.

I did not understand how Spencer could be ready for Kindergarten when his comprehension skills are not up to par. They told me he would be board with anything else. I did not understand what they meant until yesterday. I was doing some school exercises with Edy and Spencer wanted to "draw" too. We gave him a paper and I asked him to draw an A. He did it. We went through the whole alphabet and he wrote every letter. He even did some lower case letters. I also learned that his comprehension skills are not as behind as I thought. When we were done with the letters he turned his paper over and proceeded to write YOU. He then pointed to the word and said "you". Wanting to set a positive air to the session I suggested that he write the word WIN next. I told him the letters and he wrote them. I then said "you win". He said "NO" in the way that says mom you are not so smart and then proceeded to write the letters L O S and E. He then very emphatically said "YOU LOSE!" Thank you Monkey Ball!

Taylor is also learning to spell, which amazes me. He likes the words ready, go, and goal. He also has learned how to spell his name. I know that there is much in his brain that is just itching to escape. One day I will sit in amazement that we made it through this part of the journey.

Darrin cracks me up. He brought me home a book to help me with my blog. It is "The Book of Positive Quotations" 2nd Edition. It really is a cool book and I want to start putting these quotes in my posts. The one that I feel is very appropriate for my situation this week is this:

"The one law that does not change is that everything changes, and the hardship I was bearing today was only a breath away from the pleasures I would have tomorrow, and those pleasures would be all the richer because of the memories of this I was enduring." - Louis L'Amour

I love watching little brains at work. When the boys were little I would love to watch them figure things out. I lost this for a time and now those little brains are working again. I get great pleasure watching them learn, knowing how hard it has been for them to get to this point. There were times in the past years that I felt that these days would never come. I would be living in this cycle forever. The cycle is ending. The kids and I have been having a very nice time together this break. We do have our little incidents, but they are nothing like the past. We played cards yesterday, colored and played together. We are verging on "normal" (not that I want to get too close to that). The pleasures of these times are all the richer because of the hardship that we have been through together.

Right now Edy is sitting in the big chair with Taylor. They are looking at pictures of Disneyland. Edy is asking "who's that" and Taylor is answering her and even giving descriptions of the pictures sometimes. He is getting most of them correct. How much has changed in the past year. I am looking forward to the rich pleasures of tomorrow.

God's Perfect Timing

Many times I question the timing of things. I know that God is orchestrating our lives and we want our family to be used to its greatest potential. Many times I do not see how things that transpire are in God's timing until it is revealed at a later date.

As many of you know, Darrin and I had our kids very quickly. 4 children in 2.5 years. After Addi was born we called it quits. 2boys and 2 girls seemed like a good number and mix. Also, Addi's labor and delivery was very hard and I did not ever want to go through that again.

Edy has also been learning about God's timing in answering prayer. She has been praying for a baby for about a year now. She asked me a bit ago why God did not answer her prayer. I used the moment to explain to her that God sometimes says no and we need to be OK with that.

We arrived at Grandma's house about 5:30 on Saturday evening. The atmosphere was one of grief and depression. I found Grandma and gave her a long hug and then told her I had a card for her. She read the card and then looked at me. Her face turned from one of grief to one of joy. She then started showing the card to everyone. She would say so and so come here, read this. It will be her reason to continue through the very hard first few months without Papa.
The card read like this:
cover: A New Baby
Inside: How Wonderful!
I wrote inside:
Dear Grandma,
I will be arriving sometime between October 31st and November 12th. Please come and visit me.
It was signed: Baby T

I have 2 boys with Autism and a little girl with learning disabilities. How I am supposed to get through this pregnancy, I don't know.
What I do know:
God has never given me enough to send me to the insane asylum. (I have come close)
God has taught Edy a very special lesson about answered prayer.
This child has already given someone in the midst of grief, hope for the future.

I did question the timing of this pregnancy. I have fears of miscarriage, birth defects, one more with autism, labor and delivery and postpartum depression . We are starting over. I am almost done with diapers and life was just about to get a bit easier when all of the kids were in school this next fall.

Even with this I have to acknowledge that God's timing is perfect.
The kids will all be in school in the morning just as I am starting my 3rd trimester. Can you say morning nap?
We were able to plan our Grandma's first holidays without Papa. Thanksgiving with us and Christmas with her daughter in CA.
Darrin started a really great job in January and will be going full time in May. We will hopefully have maternity insurance.
The boys are ready for chelation. They should be greatly improved by November. (I already see changes in Taylor. It is amazing what a few days away will reveal)
He gave Darrin and I time alone together to get used to the idea. I would have had a much harder time accepting this pregnancy in the midst of screaming children. :)

Once again God is teaching me that along the way there will be things and situations that I view as bumps in the road. Looking back from this side I can see that those "bumps" are an intricate part of God's plan for our family. Without them we would not be who we are.
It is the same with this. God is changing the dynamics of our family once again. It will be interesting to see what I think about this "bump" when I am on the other side.

BTW: Alaina, do you still have the crib? :)

In the Presence of Christ

Papa L. A. passed from this earth and into the presence of Christ early this afternoon. He has received his rest. We are rejoicing for him, but sad for those left behind. We will be leaving early Saturday morning and returning late Tuesday night. Darrin and I will be the only ones going down to Arkansas. There is a whole lot of drama that will be hitting the fan soon and after discussing it with Darrin's parents we decided that it would not be good to expose Edy.

It is the first time that I had to tell Edy that someone she loved had gone to be in Heaven with Jesus. She cried as I expected, and I am sure there will be other tears from her at different times. I wish I could shield her from these hurts, but I know that God will comfort her heart.

We went down to Arkansas last March to see Papa LA and Grandma Bobbie. I am so glad that we did. He got to meet his great-grandchildren that he had heard so much about. He got to watch them play and swim, and Edy talked his ear off. After we had left for home the rest of the family from Texas and the East Coast converged there. A fun time was had by all.

I am told right before he passed into the arms of Christ, he was surrounded by his 2 oldest sons, his wife and his pastor. They read the 23rd Psalm and prayed. It was while they were all in prayer that he was ushered into the Kingdom of Heaven.

Psalm 116:12-19
What shall I render to the LORD for all his bounty to me?
I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the LORD,
I will pay my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people.
Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.
O LORD, I am thy servant; I am thy servant, the son of thy handmaid. Thou hast loosed my bonds. I will offer to thee the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the LORD.
I will pay my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people, in the courts of the house of the LORD, in your midst, O Jerusalem. Praise the LORD!

I'm Tired and a Change in Perspective

Today I am just too tired to do much. I am physically and emotionally drained. I thought I could handle the everyday messes that the children create. I could do this if life was normal, but there is little about our lives that is normal.
I am tired of special diets.
I am tired of smeared poop in the bathroom.
I am tired of the screaming.
I am tired of being tired.
I am tired of my struggle with weight.
I am tired of the same food over and over.
I am too tired to think.
I am tired of trying to get supplements down my children.
I am tired of medical bills.

As I was writing this in my pity party state I received a phone call update on Darrin's Papa in Arkansas. He is not doing well. He was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma about a month ago. Everyday is a struggle to know what to do to help him. My in-laws are there at this time. They do no know how long they will need to stay, but if things keep progressing the way they are, it will not be much longer.

At least there are things that I can do for my boys. They do not have a life threatening illness. What we are doing will make it so they will be able to lead full, normal lives. They will recover. There is not a whole lot of guess work left. We are on the path to recovery.

I can not imagine what Grandma Bobbie is going through right now. The realization that she is going to lose her husband and close friend of over 25 years is starting to close in on her. She has lived with this possibility looming over her head for years. Papa has Emphysema. He has been living with this for a very long time. As it turns out, his lungs are working fine right now. It is the rest of his body that is having trouble.

It is amazing to me how one phone call can put me back into perspective. The timing of the call was of the Lord. A gentle reminder to me that my life is not all that bad. Yes, I am tired, but our family in Arkansas is much more so. So today I will continue to give my kids their supplements and Epsom Salt baths, not care that the house is once again a mess, and pray for our family, in Arkansas, who is facing a much bigger battle today than I am.

Happy Birthday Monica

Today is my friend Monica's birthday. (see her great blog)

A little over 6.5 years ago the Lord brought the Bird family to the church that we were attending. Monica and I would have brief conversations in the nursing mother's room, and other church functions, but it was not until early 2004 that we became good friends. Monica did something that I don't think that I would have had the guts to do, she let me sell her house. I had just received my Real Estate Agent's license and she was very brave to allow me to help them sell their home and purchase another. Through this process we talked more and the friendship started to grow.

I do not think that I would have survived this journey without her. She has been my constant voice of encouragement. When I am down and in tears I always know that she will have a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear. I can not tell you the countless times that I have retreated to her house when things are just too much to bear.

She has taught me so much about how to be a good mom, just by being a fabulous mom to her 7 children. I love to watch her interact with her kids. She has such a great relationship with her older daughters. I hope to have the same type of relationship with my girls as they grow into young women. I know that some days are hard, but her children are such a joy to be around. They are the kids that I want as my children's friends.

Many people go through life hoping for the type of friend that I have found in Monica. She is a true friend, never judgmental, yet I know she shoots straight from the hip and will tell me like it is. She is full of compassion and love.

Monica, my friend, I hope this day holds special surprises for you and that as you start this next year the Lord will fullfill the desires of your heart. It is a privilege to call you my friend.

Progress

The kids were sick last week and then lucky me I got it too. Fortunately Darrin was off on Monday and I got a sick day. I have not had one in a long time. It was quite nice.
Because of all of the sickness (not as bad as other families have had it) my week is a bit off. I thought all of the doctors appointments were this week. NOT. They are next week.
Because I thought they were this week I filled out a new Autism Treatment Check List, called an ATEC, for Taylor. You can see what we progress we are looking for here:
http://www.autism.com/ari/atec/atec-online.htm

The saying that you can not see the forest for the big tree that is right in front of you has been so true for me over the past month. I did not see the progress. I started to wonder if what we were doing was truly worth it. Well.... the ATEC score is on a scale from 0-100, 0 being the best and 100 being the worst. Taylor was in the mid 60's in November. Today when I did his ATEC........46!!!!

This is close to what Spencer was in January. So very exciting. Now it may go down a bit after Darrin goes over it and changes some answers. But he has made huge progress in just 3 months. We still have a ways to go, but we are going and that has made my day. We have covered a vast amount of the road. Wow 46!!

The tantrums are gone! He is seeking me out for hugs and play time. The other day he came up to me and said "let's play together." He wanted to do a puzzle. He is also starting to use 5 word sentences consistently and telling us what he wants instead of pointing or grunting. He is also using the scripting language that he has in an appropriate manner.
Last week Darrin caught him playing with a car on the car rug appropriately. He was pushing the car down one of the roads and following it as it curved.

As I said earlier, it is hard to see the progress day to day. This ATEC really helps us see by numbers what ground has been covered.
The day we hit the single digits we are going to have a huge party.

To top it all off I lost a pound this past week! It was a very stressful week and I still managed to lose a pound. Life is good today!